Self Care Part 2: Sleep playlist

 

Counting Sheep
Counting Sheep

Okay so who here has Insomnia? Go ahead raise your hands, I know lots of us have it. Having anxiety and depression, makes it hard to quiet my brain… this causes a lot of sleepless nights. I know you’re probably looking at my title and thinking ‘Why would you listen to music if you’re trying to sleep??” Well to answer it simply, it quiets down my thoughts. I try to listen to soundcloud mixes that are super long and have little to no vocals. The instrumentals have to be mellow and it’ll put me right to sleep with a littlw help from melatonin sometimes. So this is just a “hey soundcloud is real and useful take advantage of it.”

 

Self Care Part 2: Depression Playlist

To beat the negative mood, dancing around helps so much! So play this and dance around

 

  1. Kickin’ Back by Mila J
Mila J
Mila J

Just milly rock all that bad energy out.

2. You’re So Beautiful by The Empire Cast

Empire Cast
Empire Cast

I know we all love Empire! Now you can’t tell me this isn’t an upbeat song.

3.  Needed Me by Rihanna

Rihanna
Rihanna

I love dancing around to this! Just pretend you’re performing this to someone who needed you

4. Satisfaction Guaranteed by Junglepussy

Junglepussy
Junglepussy

This is just so upbeat and I rap along at the top of my lungs.

5. Fallin’ Off by Full Crate

This is a remix of Pony by Ginuwine. You can catch me shimmying to this every time it plays.

6. Oui by Jeremih

Jeremih
Jeremih

This song plays and I can’t keep still!

Self Care Part 2: Anxiety Playlist

*I’ve decided to make part 2 less overwhelming by just doing music suggestions. Part 3 will be about TV and movies!

We’re going to continue the conversation about self care. I think it’s great to use music as a weapon to fight negative feelings. Of course you should talk things out and take active steps to improving your mood, but sometimes you just need a quick pick me up playlist. So there’s three kinds of things I’m looking for when it comes to my feel good playlist. If I’m feeling depressed, I’m looking for upbeat songs. If I’m feeling very anxious, I’m looking for mellow songs. And if I’m trying to fall asleep, I’m looking for mellow songs with little to no vocals.

Anxiety playlist

  1. All I Need by Noname
Noname
Noname

Noname’s voice is just so smooth and so calm. Her music always sounds so soothing. There’s no way you can listen to her and not love her.

 

2. Try by Courtnie

Courtnie
King Courtnie Instagram

I just found this song a few days ago and it’s just perfect. I love this!

2. Healer by Mick Jenkins Ft. Noname

Mick Jenkins
Mick Jenkins

This song can be played repeatedly and not get old. You can just get lost in it.

4. TwoAM by SZA

SZA
SZA

You probably know this is a cover for PARTYNEXTDOOR’s Come and See Me. This is always going to keep me calm.

5. Water Me by FKA twigs

FKA twigs
FKA twigs

 

6. Lost by Chance the Rapper Ft. Noname

Chance the Rapper
Chance the Rapper

All I have to say is listen to it and fall in love.

 

 

Self Care Days Part 1

Self Care Notes
Self Care Notes

I learned that I had Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder in 2012. It’s been a challenge to keep myself feeling great. I was doing a combination of therapy sessions, and SSRI’s and sedatives. Session, SSRI, Sedative. Session, SSR, Sedative. It got really tedious. And I almost always fall off the wagon. I am currently off the wagon and in some dirt as I type this. I just like winging things I guess. It feels kinda reckless…

But I always know when to climb back into the wagon because mental health is very important. And I will admit that sometimes it just feels pointless. Sometimes you have to take time to stop and take care of yourself. If you’re not feeling good mentally, you have to take steps to make yourself feel better.  I feel like you have to take a self care day and get everything together. Gather your life and feelings, lay them out, and engage in some fun stuff, while catching up on work.

When I have a self care day, there’s a lot of steps I take. First, I start with hygiene. Everyone who has depression knows staying in bed and not leaving except to use the bathroom is the way to go. But if you’re already in the bathroom, take a quick shower and brush your teeth.

Then I like to make sure I eat something. Even if it is 6pm and all I had was air so far, a meal is very useful. Pasta is my go to meal. It takes less than 20 minutes to cook, and you have variety. It is also very filling.

 

Roseanne
Roseanna cast

Okay you washed up and ate … what’s next? Check to see if your favorite show is on. And pick a show that will make you laugh. My favorite show to watch when I’m feeling down is Roseanne(They play the episodes on Logo). There’s not much drama and there’s so many funny moments and I’ve seen all of the episodes so if my mind wanders, I still know what’s going on. But if you just want to laugh so hard you’ll cry, watch Impractical Jokers. (Trutv)

Impractical Jokers
Impractical Jokers Cast

 

If there isn’t good shows on, Listen to your favorite music. Your favorite music will lift your spirits so fast. My first choice song is Dance On Me by Goldlink. It has me dancing as soon as it starts.  Anything that’ll get you moving or singing a long is great. I like to pretend I’m performing Caretaker by D.R.A.M ft. SZA when no one is looking.

Finally, you have to make sure you got any homework/work that’s been sitting in your to-do list, start them. The more that you have on your to-do list, the more stressed you’ll be. Start something and make plans to finish it. It might be a lot but you can definitely do it. And as a side note, If you’ve been isolating yourself, maybe text your friends. If you ghosted them, try to let them know that you’re alive.

**Part 2 will be up soon, and it’ll be a list of great tv shows/movies and music to consume while you’re down!!

I’m Not Allowed To Be Angry: An Exploration of the Angry Black Woman Trope.

Why? Why aren’t I allowed to be angry? To put it simply, stereotypes… Stereotypes and the constant invalidation of a Black Woman’s emotions. We can also add tone policing and most of all, blatant misogynoir. So maybe it can’t be simple. But let’s break it down together.

Stereotypical Angry Black Woman Meme
Angry Black Woman Meme

Stereotypical Angry Black Woman.

When you watch movies, what kind of roles do Black women have? (if they even have any roles.) Are they all pretty much the same character? Are they all upset about something? Are they rolling their necks? Are they threatening to fight someone? And the most importantly, are they all scaring/threatening a white woman? When writing roles for black women there’s no variety. Nothing to show them in a good light. As a result, we’re just known as always angry. (If you see a black woman in a movie/tv show and they’re screaming, fighting, drinking, smoking, and talking about welfare, and their baby daddies, the writers ain’t shit.)

Taraji P. Henson as "Cookie" in Empire.
Taraji P. Henson as “Cookie” in Empire.

Invalidating Black Women’s Experiences and Emotions.

Since many people don’t know how to separate roles from reality, we’re stuck with this narrative. And since we’re stuck with this, we’re not allowed to have any emotions. Any emotion we show is just brushed off as us being angry… even if we’re 1. not angry or 2. allowed to be angry. We’re just told to “calm down” or things aren’t “that serious.” That means our experiences and emotions are constantly being invalidated. What happens when you’re constantly being invvalidated? WE GET ANGRY. Black Women are constantly made to feel like we don’t matter and as a result we get told to calm down. This isn’t only coming from white america. This is coming from within our own communities.

They’re constantly telling Black Women how they can show emotion, when to show emotion, and to calm down if they do show emotion.

Black Men are bashing us, making us feel like  we don’t matter, and then just calling us angry. Black Women are teaching Black Girls  not to  show emotion. Not to cry. Not to be rightfully angry. But are they telling white women the same thing? Are they telling Black Men the same things? No.

Misogynoir is misogyny directed towards black women where race and gender both play roles in bias. 

If you didn’t already know this term, learn it. Fighting the patriarchy when you’re black is a whole new ball game.

 

Let’s Talk About Respectability Politics… Part 1

Respectability Politics Won't Save You T-shirt
Respectability Politics Won’t Save You T-shirt

What is it?

In the simplest of terms, It is the idea that in order for oppressed groups to be treated like human beings, they have to behave better. This is commonly taught within black communities and then enforced by white outsiders. So we’re taught that in order for  institutionalized racism to stop, we have to talk differently, dress differently, and be nice to those who are harming us.